Remembering Sunday
by vampnira92
Summary: He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes...Now this place seems familiar to him...Waking the neighbors, unfamiliar faces...I'm not coming back... There's so much that he doesn't know about her, and so much that she wishes she could tell him. He loves her. She says she doesn't believe in love. She loves him. All he wants is to be with her. NarutoxOC songfic
1. Chapter 1: He woke up from dreaming

_**Author's note: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters. I simply borrow them to use in my own sick, twisted fantasies. ^^ I also don't own the song "Remembering Sunday." That belongs to All Time Low and their record label. I do, however, own the plot and the characters of Junko, her parents, and the minor characters that Naruto talks to in a later chapter. –Nira**_

**Remembering Sunday**

**_Chapter One: He woke up from dreaming…_**

"Naruto-kun!"

I turn around to see who is calling me and smile, seeing a cute girl with layered blonde hair with the longer bottom layers dyed black. She smiles at me, holding my hands and kisses me before she runs off, looking back at me with her black-rimmed silver eyes to see if I'm following her, the purple flecks catching the light as she runs. I smile back and chase after her.

Every time I think I've caught up to her, she runs farther away, her facial expression darkening a little more each time. I'm getting tired and I'm out of breath, so I stop to catch it, my eyes never leaving the girl ahead of me. My breath catches in my throat when I see wet streaks glistening on her cheeks and that her eyes seem to be confused on what they want to tell me. I run after her again, ignoring the tightening of my chest. I need to comfort her, but she runs away again, not letting me get close to her. She's still looking back at me and calling me toward her, but her actions keep drawing her farther and farther away from me. She looks more and more desperate for me to reach her as I struggle on.

The tears are cascading down her face as she looks ahead of her and away from me for the first time since she's called out to me. She runs, but this time she doesn't pause or look back at me. I run faster, my stomach and chest tightening and my eyes widening. She's given up and is running away from me. A sinking feeling like a dry, too-large chunk of bread being swallowed hits my stomach.

She isn't coming back.

"Junko!" I call out, desperately reaching out for her, silently begging for her to turn around and reach back out for me as she had just a few short moments ago, but she doesn't.

I shoot into a sitting position, my eyes wide open and my arm extended. I'm panting heavily and covered in a cold layer of sweat. I look around the room with confused, electric-blue eyes and sigh, bending my head and running my fingers through my spiked golden hair. It's just a dream again, but it leaves me feeling empty inside.

Empty.

It's all I've felt since she really _has_ left. How long ago has it been? Days? Weeks? I can't remember. The days and nights have melted together and I can't tell the difference between two days ago and last night. I take a swig from the bottle of sake on my nightstand and make a face. It burns and tastes gross, like acid being poured down my throat, but I don't care. I've gotten used to it and the numb, burning feeling and sense of everything being topsy-turvy it leaves behind. It makes me feel _something_ aside from the emptiness. I pick up the pack of cigarettes next to the bottle, put one to my lips, and light it, taking a long drag and letting it out in a sigh.

The alarm clock distorted by empty liquor bottles reads 2:00 AM, so I get out of bed and put some pants on. I know I won't be able to get back to sleep for a while, so I decide to go for a walk. I put on my shoes and walk up the stairs of my apartment building to the roof. The sky is clear, the moon, full, and the stars are shining bright in their seemingly infinite black blanket. I walk to the edge and lean against the chest-high wall. A cool summer breeze sweeps by and a slight smile creeps onto my face as I remember the last day I'd seen Junko.

It had been a Sunday, clear, warm, and breezy and she'd come over and knocked impatiently at my door. When I finally got out of bed and answered, she greeted me with a tackle hug and a huge smile on her face.

"Naruto-kun! Good morning, sleepy head," she smiled up at me. "Are you hungry? You better be because I'm cooking breakfast for you."

I laughed and let her in, apologizing for how messy my apartment was. When she walked in and looked around, she turned to me with her brows furrowed.

"What?" I asked, confused as to why she looked so angry.

"Do you _ever_ clean? I'm not cooking in a dirty kitchen, and I'm being nice when I'm saying that it's just dirty. This entire apartment is a health risk, Naruto!" she scolded.

"Then help me clean?" I suggested nervously.

"Fine…" she huffed after a pause. "But only because I know you won't do it unless I help or babysit you into doing it."

She made her way into my bedroom and dug through my drawers, looking for something, so I watched her in curious confusion. She pulled out a muscle shirt and smiled before turning her back to me and taking her own off-the-shoulder blue and silver sakura-printed shirt off and replacing it with my muscle shirt. I blushed and looked away and she faced me again with a smile.

"Let's get started!"

We started cleaning the kitchen first and she sang and danced as she worked. I couldn't help but to smile and stop to watch her sometimes. She was so cheerful and had so much energy. It was intoxicating. We cleaned for hours, pausing only for something to drink every now and then. When we finished, we stood in the middle of the apartment and looked around. Everything was spotless and the whole apartment smelled like cleaning supplies.

"We did it," I smiled wide in excitement. It had been ages since I'd been able to see my floor.

"Now we can eat! Are you gonna help me cook, too?" she inquired.

"I'll do what I can," I chuckled.

She smiled and skipped to the kitchen. She made French toast, bacon, and eggs cooked over-easy and I helped by grabbing whatever she asked for. Cinnamon, butter, paper towels, milk, vanilla. Everything that she did— walking, dancing, cleaning, moving around the kitchen—had a sort of hypnotic grace to it and I found myself caught in its spell often enough to realize that I was staring and blushing almost constantly. I didn't mind, though. I loved being around her.

When she'd finished cooking, she made a plate for each of us and set one in front of me at the table with a glass of orange juice, and then sat across from me. She refused to take a bite before I did or until she knew what I thought of it.

"Well?" she inquired impatiently when I'd taken a bite of the eggs. I hadn't even had a chance to chew once, yet.

"Jun-chan, this is great!" I smiled and took another bite, so she smiled and dug in seeming satisfied with my reaction.

When we'd finished eating and washed our dishes, she paused and stared at me and I could see a sad, lonely darkness hidden behind her caring eyes. It gripped my heart, making me wonder what had happened to make her look so broken, but I also knew she wouldn't tell me. She'd shut herself off from me more than she had when we were younger. Back then, she'd have told me anything, but something had broken her down over the years that we were apart.

"What is it?" I blushed, not showing to her that I saw that she was hiding something from me.

"You know… I really like you, Naruto-kun," she smiled. "Thanks for breakfast. I had a lot of fun."

"I did too, Junko. Thanks for coming over," I smiled back, my heart fluttering and wanting me to tell her how much I loved her.

I wanted her to tell me what was wrong and why she sounded like she was saying "goodbye," but I couldn't bring myself to ask or to confess anything, myself, either.

My strength leaves me, having remembered that day and I slide to my knees, my hands futilely pressed to the wall to try to keep me standing. My chest feels like it's going to implode and my throat burns with suppressed sobs as tears force their way from my eyes. I miss her so much that it hurts.


	2. Chapter 2: Now this place seems familiar

_**Author's note: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters. I simply borrow them to use in my own sick, twisted fantasies. ^^ I also don't own the song "Remembering Sunday." That belongs to All Time Low and their record label. I do, however, own the plot and the characters of Junko, her parents, and the minor characters that Naruto talks to in a later chapter. –Nira**_

**_Chapter Two: Now this place seems familiar to him…_**

I've just gotten done with an easy D-rank mission and am walking around Konoha, lost to my memories of Junko before everything had changed and she'd left. We'd practically grown up together for a while, but her parents moved around a lot and always took her with them. She'd been everywhere. She'd lived in the Waterfall Village, Mist village, Sand Village, and even the Land of Snow. Whenever they'd come back to Konoha, she'd tell me about everywhere that she'd been and about some of the people that she'd met there. She and her family had officially and permanently moved back to Konoha just the year before she'd left again when we were seventeen.

The day that she'd come over and helped me clean, we met up again later and we were wandering around Konoha, trying to find something to do to entertain ourselves since neither of us had a mission to do. We were walking by her apartment building when she smiled and pulled me toward it by my hand. She didn't let go when we'd gotten inside, but she grinned wide, biting her bottom lip and leading me up the stairs to the third floor where her apartment was.

"What are we doing here? Won't we get in trouble?" I asked, remembering that her parents had been strict with her about boys when we were younger. I felt that we were committing a taboo or something, just by being there.

"No," she giggled. "My parents are out on a mission and won't be back until tomorrow morning."

When we were in the apartment, she locked the door behind us and I looked around. It was simply decorated with colorful European paintings and an occasional Sumi-e, but it was still very beautiful, clean, and homey- feeling.

"So what did you—?" I started, but she cut me off by pressing her lips to mine.

My eyes widened and heart rate increased in surprise as I held my breath. I couldn't believe what was happening. I'd always fantasized about kissing her, growing up, but I never would have thought or believed that I'd ever _get_ to kiss her, let alone that she'd be the one making the first move. I'd always thought that she'd just seen me as a friend, so I was stunned. When I didn't kiss back, she pulled away, taking a step back and blushed, looking at the floor.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I shouldn't have—," she rambled, obviously embarrassed.

I gently took her face into my hands and tilted her head back so she was looking at me again, cutting her off. Her blush deepened as she stared into my eyes with her gorgeous silver and amethyst ones, and I slowly leaned in until our lips met again. She melted into it and into me, pressing her body against mine and deepening the kiss. I wrapped one of my arms around her waist and the other around her back, holding her close to me. Her arms snaked around my neck and one of her hands tangled its fingers in the wild spikes of my yellow hair.

She pushed me backward, still not breaking the kiss and when we got to a door, she turned us around so her back was to it and opened it into a bedroom. I parted from her for breath and she opened her eyes, not taking them away from mine again. She smiled and pulled me toward the bed, so I closed the door and followed her, lying down next to her. She kissed me again and cuddled into my chest with a contented sigh.

"Junko-chan, I have to tell you something…" I muttered into her hair and kissed her head. Her hair smelled like coconut.

"Hm… what is it?" she inquired.

"I love you… I have ever since we were kids…"

She didn't look up at me or say anything. She didn't even move and her lack of a reaction made me nervous, so I called her name.

"I heard you, Naruto-kun…"

"Then why are you so quiet? What's wrong?"

"I'm trying to figure out what to say…"

"Don't you feel the same way?"

"I don't believe in love anymore… but that doesn't mean that I don't appreciate or reciprocate your feelings. I care for you, Naruto-kun… really, I do… But I don't want to be in a relationship with you…"

"Why not?" I insisted. "Don't you get butterflies in your stomach when we're together? And don't you miss me when we're apart?"

"Yes, I do, but Naruto, I can't give you what you're looking for in a girlfriend. I'm no good—nothing but trouble. I'd only hurt you… Can't we just stay like this? Isn't this enough?"

I sighed and held her tightly again and kissed her head. "Yeah… this is enough for now…"

"Naturo…" She looked up at me, worried, looking like she was going to say something else, but I shook my head "no," cutting her off before she could.

"Let me have this moment… please…"

She kissed me tenderly in apology and it broke my heart knowing that she didn't tell me everything anymore. She'd changed. Before, she would have smiled and thanked me for loving her, not apologized for it and only given me partial truths like she was doing as I held her. I kissed her back tensely, trying to convey my inner turmoil to her, and when we parted, I sighed and held her close, sniffling and crying as silently as I could manage.

There was something that she was struggling through on her own and I wanted to comfort her so badly. She'd blocked me out, not wanting me to know for one reason or another, but she still wanted me there. She still wanted me close to her, but she wouldn't _let_ me get close. Her struggle was just as much mine as it was hers and it was driving me crazy that there was nothing I could do to help her. I wanted the old Junko back—the Junko who always smiled when she saw me and meant it with her whole heart, told me everything that was on her mind, and always had a way of making me fall more and more in love with her every single day that I was with her, just by being her beautiful, carefree self.


	3. Chapter 3:Waking the neighbors

_**Author's note: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters. I simply borrow them to use in my own sick, twisted fantasies. ^^ I also don't own the song "Remembering Sunday." That belongs to All Time Low and their record label. I do, however, own the plot and the characters of Junko, her parents, and the minor characters that Naruto talks to in this chapter. –Nira**_

**_Chapter Three: Waking the neighbors, unfamiliar faces…_**

I'm sitting in a tree in the forest surrounding Konoha, smoking a cigarette with a bottle of sake resting on the bough between my legs, and I remember waking up in the middle of the night with a foreboding feeling in my gut when I'd gone home. Junko and I had fallen asleep holding each other and were awoken early the next morning by shouting from the hallway of the apartment complex. Junko sprang into a sitting position looking confused and afraid as she looked around the room. She jumped up, rushing me to get up and leave, and I was instantly awake because of the sheer panic dominating her face. I asked her what was going on, but she told me to be quiet.

"You're not supposed to be here. I don't know if my parents are back or not, but if they see you, I'm in HUGE trouble. Shit! This isn't supposed to be happening!" she harshly whispered, pushing me toward the window. "Naruto, go! Now!"

I did as she said and left out into the rain, but I wondered if she was only telling me a partial truth again. Who was yelling like that so early in the morning and why? I didn't have time to ask and I didn't get a chance to see her again that day to ask anything. While I was doing my D-rank that day, I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach that I couldn't shake or figure out, so I tried my best to ignore it. Even when I'd gone to bed, I couldn't get rid of it, and I'd had a bad dream about something or someone really important to me disappearing or leaving and never coming back, and when I woke up, it was still raining and I felt like a piece of me was missing. Suddenly an image of Junko came to mind and I knew that I had to find her.

I ran outside to Junko's window, wanting to tell her about my bad feeling, but when I got there and knocked on her window, I didn't get a response and I could see that she wasn't in her bed. Everything looked like it had when I'd been there that morning—like she hadn't been in it or touched anything there all day. I ran inside the building and knocked on the door to her apartment and a tall man with short, spiky, brown hair wearing glasses answered.

"Um… Hi, Yamakura-san. Sorry to bother you so late, but is Junko home?" I asked.

"She doesn't live here anymore…" he growled and slammed the door in my face.

How could she not live there anymore? She'd just been there a few hours ago and all of her things were still put neatly away and out of sight in her room. Where could she have gone? I walked to the next door in the hall and insistently knocked on the door, wanting answers.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm looking for someone. Have you seen the girl that lives next door? It's really important that I find her," I pleaded to the woman that answered.

"I'm sorry. I haven't seen her. Good luck finding her, though."

"Thank you."

I went to the next apartment and asked. Nothing. I asked everyone on the floor, getting more and more desperate as nobody seemed to know anything and when I got to the last apartment at the end of the hall, I got a lead from an elderly man.

"You mean the girl with blonde and black hair? Yeah, I saw her this morning as I was comin' home from my walk."

"Do you know where she went? Did she go alone?" I probed.

"She was alone, all right. She looked like she was headin' toward the city gates, as far as I could tell."

"Do you know _why_ she left, at all?"

"Beats me. Maybe it had somethin' to do with them parents a' hers. Always fightin', those two are."

I glared back down the hall in the direction that I'd just come from, realizing that her parents knew something. I thanked the old man and he wished me luck as I ran back down the hall to Junko's apartment. I pounded on the door and when her dad answered again, I punched him in the face with all the strength I could muster.

"Where did Junko go? What did you do to her?" I demanded.

"I didn't do anything, you damn brat! What does it matter to you anyway?"

"Where did she go?"

"The little bitch ran away! How the hell should I know where she went? Let her go! She's too much like her damn mother! It's bad enough having _her_ around!"

"She's your _daughter_! How can you not care where she is or what happens to her?"

"Because I didn't want her born to begin with, that's why! Now get the hell out of my house!"

I punched him as hard as I could again out of complete rage. He was her _father_. He was _supposed_ to care about and love Junko. How could a parent reject their own child so wholeheartedly? I'd never had parents because they'd died, but this man was alive and still didn't want his own child. It was unfathomable to me how any parents could not want their child, let alone a child as amazing as Junko.

I rushed out of the apartment building and back out into the rain and through the city gate into the woods, frantically searching for Junko. I called her name without response until my voice ran coarse and refused to work anymore, and even then, I didn't give up. I had to find her. I'd made up my mind that I was going to marry her one day and I wasn't going to give up until it had become a reality.

The clouds were taunting me, washing away any tracks that she may have left behind making it even harder for me to track her. I didn't have the Hyuugas' Byakugan, the nose of a dog like the Inuzukas, a swarm of bugs like the Aburame clan, or the Sharingan of the Uchihas. All I had was basic tracking and with the constant rain, it was useless. I was getting drenched to the bone and I was growing tired, but I pushed on. I remembered that she'd told me once that her favorite place to be was a small clearing in the forest just outside of Konoha filled with wildflowers of every color imaginable, so I searched for that, praying that she'd be there. There was no way that I could have been prepared for what I'd seen.

I push the thoughts out of my head, not wanting to relive the moment. It's too painful to even think about, but despite my pushing the thoughts away, the feelings that come with them flood into me. I feel like I'm being torn apart from the inside, out and that everything is being sucked into a black hole where my heart should be. I've always wondered if this is what death feels like, and sometimes I pray that I _am_ dying, just so I don't have to feel it anymore.

No amount of will power can push the feelings away, so I grab the neck of the bottle and put it to my lips, drinking the clear liquid inside like water. Tears stream down my face as I wait for the burning numbness of the alcohol to consume me. The trees around me start leaning and spinning, so I jump down from the branch that I'm on, cigarettes in one hand and the now closed-again bottle in the other. The rush of movement makes me dizzy and nauseous and I fall onto my back, laying in the tall grass and staring up at the leaves overhead. I whisper her name as the blackness rushes over me.


	4. Chapter 4:I'm not coming back

_**Author's note: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters. I simply borrow them to use in my own sick, twisted fantasies. ^^ I also don't own the song "Remembering Sunday." That belongs to All Time Low and their record label. I do, however, own the plot and the characters of Junko, her parents, and the minor characters that Naruto talks to in the previous chapter. BTW, this chapter is the finale and is told from Junko's perspective. –Nira**_

**_Chapter Four: I'm not coming back (forgive me)…_**

"I don't give a fuck! Go ahead and leave! Take your damn daughter with you! She's just like you so the two of you should get along just fine without me around!"

"Just like me? She got her funky attitude from you! My genetics had nothing to do with that shit! She even _looks_ like you!"

"You're mental! The little bitch looks just like her mother!"

It's always been like this… Ever since I was seven and my older brother, Shinji died on an S-ranked mission, my parents have hated each other and me blaming his death on the other parent for letting him become a shinobi.

I loved my brother. He was always kind and played with me whenever I asked him to if he didn't have homework or missions. Even if he'd just gotten home and was tired from work, he'd always find the time to play or train with me when I'd joined the academy, too. I looked up to him and wanted to be just like him when I got older.

Ever since he died, I've been trying to pick up the slack that he left behind and meet my parents' expectations, but nothing I do is ever good enough for them. They'd have preferred if it had been _me_ that died instead of their beloved Shinji and neither of them has forgotten to remind me of the fact. Neither of them wants me. I'm the accident of the family.

I hate Shinji. I hate him for being everything I'm not, for being Mom and Dad's favorite, for being the epitome of human perfection. I hate him most of all for leaving me alone. I hate him because he _died_ and made Mom and Dad hate each other so much that they hate me because I remind each of them of the other. I always wonder if they'd ever actually loved each other, but they couldn't have if they ended up the way they are now. Love never existed for them or anyone else because it can be so easily changed into hatred by the slightest of provocations.

Shinji turned my life into a living hell by leaving me. I don't have anybody anymore. I can never have people over because Mom and Dad are always fighting, and I can never have any real friends because we're always moving because we keep getting kicked out of our apartments from all the noise complaints when they fight. I'm so _alone_ because of him and I HATE him for it!

… But then there's Naruto.

He's been there with me since the beginning. He's always been the one to make me smile. I know I can always go to him and he'll be there with a smile on his face just for me… but he reminds me so much of Shinji. I didn't want to get close to him. I wouldn't let myself do it. I always thought "What if he leaves me, too? What if I'm left alone? Just like when Shinji died…" Even the thought is enough to make me break down… but my heart wouldn't listen to me no matter how much I tried to force it to stop beating faster whenever Naruto was brought up in my own mind or by other villagers; or when he was there with me with that smile that was meant for me only and was enough to melt my defensive walls, letting him in a little more each time I saw him despite my efforts to try to rebuild them in the time that we were apart.

I've hardened my heart and mind against him as much as is possible over the years, but a part of me still yearns for him; for his love, his presence, any- and everything about him. The rest of me tries to suffocate that part. Its existence is too painful. It would shatter me if he were to leave me somehow.

He told me last night that he loves me and cried when I said I couldn't be the girlfriend that he was looking for, and I wanted to cry, too. I was so torn between being both ecstatic and horrified that he confessed that he loves me. But I don't deserve his love. I'm a mess. I don't even love myself. It's the opposite. I'm not Shinji. I never was, never have been, and never will be. I will never be the one person that my parents loved and wanted so much whose existence kept them happily in love. I can never be the kind of person that Naruto deserves. I'm too fucked up for anyone to love. I shouldn't even exist. I'm unwanted, unnecessary, a waste of space and air. I'm so worthless that even my own flesh and blood parents hate me.

Mom and Dad have finally stopped fighting. I think I heard Mom storm out of the apartment, slamming the door behind her at some point. They'd been fighting for so long that I lost track of time. I look out the window.

It's pouring rain outside and has been all day. I could easily sneak out through my window. It's not like my parents would even notice or care that I was gone. I could just disappear off the face of the planet and nobody would know until they found me whenever the rain let up, if there was anybody looking. By then, it'd be too late. I climb through the window and into the rain and make my way toward the city gates.

I make a stop at Naruto's apartment and watch through the window as he makes ramen for himself and does some light training. I don't know how long I've been sitting here, but I've gone numb. I press my hand to the window and finally admit to myself aloud that I love him.

"Forgive me, Naruto…" I whisper.

I continue to the city gate and into the surrounding forest to a clearing that I'd gone to with Shinji almost regularly that we'd deemed as "our spot." The flowers aren't as pretty or vibrant as I remember them. They're dull and lifeless in comparison to the images I recall of lying in the grass and flowers beside Shinji on clear, beautiful days. I lay on my back in the sodden grass, vacantly staring up at the dark clouds overhead.

The cold rain has seeped into my core. It's washing everything away. I let it take away everything about Naruto; his love, his smile, the beautiful crystal-blue of his eyes that sparkled brighter when he looked at me, his infectious laughter, his perfect, spiked blonde locks, everything. I let it all roll off of me like the drops of rain on my cheeks. I'm numb and shivering uncontrollably, but none of it matters. It's all going to be over soon. I've given up. I'm not coming back. Soon I'll be as dull and lifeless as the wilting and withered wildflowers around me.

I finger the weapons pouch on my hip open and withdraw a kunai. The dark metal glistens in the dim light forcing its way through the gloom of the clouds and I can see the silver of my eyes reflected on the blade. The purple is lost in the onyx of the steel. I bring the blade to my wrist and press it to the thin flesh. It easily breaks the skin with only that much effort, but it's not enough. I press the blade harder into my skin and slide it slowly across until it's free from the sheath of flesh.

I watch as the blood flows freely down my forearm and drips onto my face before I let my arm fall back onto the wet grass. It's become heavy. I can feel my energy slowly draining from me with each drop of blood lost and my vision begins to blur.

I'm so tired.

My eyelids grow heavier and heavier, so I give up and let them close. It's easier than fighting it. The heavier my eyelids feel, the lighter my body feels until I feel weightless; like I'm floating in the clouds, un-weighted by feelings or worries, or anything at all. This must be what death feels like. Slow, easy, painless, cold, free. This is it. I'm finally going home.

This is the end.


End file.
